Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
