Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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