i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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