Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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