I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
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