office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
