i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
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