I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
