accomplished twins. life is a go
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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