If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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