not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
