She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
So squirting runs in the family.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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