I think my vagina is haunted
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
