I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
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