we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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