Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
never play flip cup with pint glasses
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
