I love black thongs
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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