genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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