apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Randomize
