Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
