with your own penis?
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
