Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
