1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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