you guys were way drunker than both of me
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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