How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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