Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize