I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
