So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
