...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
