You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
