Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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