just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
