Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
she smelled like a LAN party
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
