I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Girls should come with a carfax report
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Sorry my hands just texted you
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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