My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
