she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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