You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Randomize
