Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
