I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
So I just went to clothing optional bar
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
