my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
