xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
