I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
