i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
please don't ironically join a cult
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