I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Randomize
