you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
