Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
