i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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