bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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