put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Randomize
