He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize