I think I died a long time ago.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
