What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
