I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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