i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize