Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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