garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
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