So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize