so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize
