Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
