Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
