Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
