well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
