Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize
