Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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