ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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