You can't motorboat a personality
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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