I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
