That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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