Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
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