You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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