your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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