Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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