She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I'm experimenting with sincerity
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
