omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Randomize
