ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
