Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Green mimosas i think yes
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
