Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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